Taboo Talks #1 May we talk about our monthly period.
28 May was global Menstrual Hygiene Day which got me questioning why it still feels hard to talk openly about a very real and regular occurring bodily function?
It has in the past and more recently shocked me that while our periods are a well known biological function, the menstrual cycle itself hardly gets a mention in day-to-day life. I am an open person and happy to talk about most things yet I struggle to legitimately bring this topic up and especially in certain places such as the workplace.
Generally speaking and in my own personal experience the subject of periods ranks high in the epicentre of #tabootalks. They either receive a whole bunch of stigma and negativity or a lack of knowledge at all. In light of 21 May’s #PeriodPositive week and 28 May Menstrual Health Day #MHDay2022, I think it’s high time I personally do more to talk about this taboo. I sought to understand why? And what I can do to transform my outlook.
It’s a rare moment if I realistically talk about my period and emotional feels to a work colleague.
Don’t get me wrong, period conversation is around in the press and media, however I'm not sure if it is just my fear but it still feels like a #tabootalk or ‘inappropriate’ when talking to certain people. There seems to be a long way to go before we can talk about having our period in the workplace and how we feel during menstruation and the other phases of the cycle.
PERIOD EMOJI 🩸
On writing this article I was pleased to find Apple had released the period emoji. I think that it's a step in the right direction as another way of communicating this very real 'time of the month'.
However, this quieter way of announcing it doesn't necessarily teach different groups such as workplaces, and anyone who doesn’t menstruate, how to receive and discuss the topic more openly.
You don't have to shout about your menstrual cycle but at the same time you shouldn't be shamed into staying quiet.
Many people only get snippets from their health practitioner and school studies and then go years without any understanding of their own cyclical functions. There is much to learn on the phases of our menstrual cycle and how it affects us physically and mentally.
A period of time or a whole cycle?
I believe there are a few different issues at hand:
How we communicate and describe our physical experience and associated mental health.
How everyone receives the topic
How we understand the ‘whole cycle’, the phases that make up the cycle, and not just one part as a static.
Just as we are all unique, no individual person's experience is exactly like another. The current blanket approach or acknowledgment of our period's as a 'time of the month' or the time when 'Aunt Flow visits' portrays just the section of time when you are 'on'. While this phase of our cycle does occur monthly, these describer statements lack depth and individuality.
For me personally, one 'time of the month' can be very different to the next. And my period and the associated physical and mental health aspects can be dramatically different to other women's experiences.
For those that don’t menstruate
You don’t have to menstruate to talk about periods. It can be a really daunting to discuss the subject for brothers, dad’s, partners and anyone that doesn’t menstruate.
One thing I’ll say here for those not experiencing periods. It is okay to ask the questions. Start with a lead in - ‘Do you have time to talk about periods?’ Then if you get a yes. Go for gold with questions. If it scares you too much to ask a friend - then ask the doctor. Or listen to a podcast.
I found a great article on talking to men about periods written by Georgia McClay, The Period Place. Read on for more on periods with Georgia.
Cleansing our conversation 🩸
Besides the fact that for me and many others it has a very real and cyclical affect on our lives. Our language and terminology around how we discuss our inner biological workings is fundamentally wrong. Whether being the experiencer or the relater, on this ordinary biological occurrence, our access to learning more is perhaps not so obviously available.
An extraordinary biological process
The fact is that as we go about our daily lives, this ordinary function is activating an extraordinary capability and power. One that seems to get overlooked.
The amazing way our body creates a cleansing, flushing system is something that should be proudly celebrated.
According to Healthline.com 'Your period is your body's way of releasing tissue that it no longer needs'.
How can we start cleansing our conversation on this amazing process that goes on and on in our bodies? Let’s start by celebrating how it’s existence helps us reset monthly to prepare for yet another amazing potential pregnancy process.
To gain more insight, I asked Georgia McClay, The Period Place some key Q&A’s on this incredible topic. Read below for the full interview.
Let’s talk period. 🩸 with The Period Place
I came across The Period Place while researching what was happening in Auckland, New Zealand on the subject. They advocate period equity and work with the community to start the conversations that will end the stigma around menstruation, empowering those who experience periods and those who don’t with a strong knowledge base, and an awesome hub of resources and information.
It was supercool to find these lovely people talking the talk in my own city (Auckland) and I wanted to find out more so I got my sh*t together and arranged a chat with The Period Place’s Community Coordinator, Georgia McClay.
Here’s what I asked…
Is period chat still pretty hush hush?
Though we’ve come pretty far in period positivity, I asked Georgia whether she felt the subject still had a hush hush vibe or if the community is getting on board the menstrual matter with chatter?
Her comments where that “with the government’s 2021 rollout of free period products in New Zealand schools, teens are now going to be used to seeing period products in the bathroom.” A whopping 2,020 schools in New Zealand have opted into this initiative to make free period products available to students. Georgia noted that the impact of this is a significant difference to what we had growing up.
Georgia said, “I definitely feel, in speaking with some younger kids now, that there’s something cool about being in ‘the know.’” Stating “I have my period and being really proud because it’s strong, feminist” These days, Georgia says,
“It’s cool to be in ‘the know’ a bit, which is really different, so I definitely think it’s grown.”
This progress among some of our young people is awesome to hear. Starting the normalisation of readily available menstrual products will hopefully make a difference to our future generations viewpoint.
So has the stigma stopped? Not yet, Georgia states that “not all people and generations view periods in the same way, it can still be quite an uncomfortable subject to discuss. There are a lot of different communities and cultures across Aotearoa and periods are viewed very differently in each one and not everyone has access to the knowledge and education that could help..
“…we learnt that 1 in 5 people with a period here in Aotearoa don't feel comfortable talking about periods.”
George said "While we see it's getting better, there is still a lot of stigma around it. We did a survey last year, with Bijou Consulting, where we learnt that 1 in 5 people with a period here in Aotearoa don't feel comfortable talking about periods. That's a big percentage of people who are uncomfortable talking about something that they are personally experiencing, and around half the population is also dealing with, and it's just a normal bodily function"
Does The Period Place have a set of learning tools available to help?
Georgia says “We have a resources link on our site from other people is what we do. The way we work is we think there’s a bunch of really cool people out there, doing good stuff and we don’t need to reinvent it. There was just a place in the market to facilitate where these go. We’re very proud to spread the word about the awesome resources out there such as Go With The Flow video series about menstruating outside.”
”We also work with a few organisations like Nest Consulting who come in and do talks at schools. We did the podcast which for us was a way to speak to people more our age (20s) and then the warehouse also cut a more appropriate for kids version.”
“We’re more about creating the conversation in the community so people can safely talk about everything to do with periods.”
Do you find there is more available for teenagers or those just beginning to get periods? Are there any specific resources for those who are adults experiencing periods?
“Because the government has stepped in now to really gear up teenagers, with their free period products in schools campaign, which we helped petition for. We were able to step back and focus on something else. So we said let’s say the kids are being looked after at school. What about their family? And getting older? One of most common messages we get on Facebook or via our email is - How do I talk to my kid about it? So you can see that people are wanting to break that cycle, but nobody ever showed them how to. So now I definitely think we are getting more adults involved in the conversation. Which is great.”
What are the goals for The Period Place this year?
Period Equity is what we always shout out. We would love to have a community where Aotearoa can in an intergenerational way be suss, be sorted. Period Equity includes everyone, even people who don’t menstruate.
The norm should be knowledge around it, at least a baseline. We’re not advising anyone to be like a school nurse but being able to talk about it and not be shied away. Taking it back to very simple communication such as ‘I’m not feeling well because I’m on my period’ or ‘Have you got a tampon?’ To have a place where it’s comfortable talking about it. Where education is the norm, it’s not something that we’re trying to achieve so hard for.
Access to period products in a really easy way. For example reusables are great, however they are expensive and only available online. If you haven’t tried them you don’t want to buy that. You’re not going to fork out $50 for something that might not work.
A space or place that is period safe. The stigma around it - we’re over it, we’re done.
Do you run anything in the community?
We have our Impact Partner Program that we run - We hustle for donations and work with The Warehouse and U by Kotex and whoever else is willing to give and we get those donations in and then we give them out to the community. We wanted to be really strategic with it. We didn’t ever want to say ‘here’s a donation, good luck for the future’. We work with organisations ongoing, so that every three months we’re able to check in and then we slowly build that.
We currently work with 27 organisations including Auckland City Mission and Te Whanau o Waipareira and with that comes opportunities to come in and speak. Whenever we hand out reusable products always come in and talk to the team about it. We find it’s really important that when people are giving out period products that the person handing them over is comfortable because we’ve all had the experience of a teacher not being comfortable which then makes it uncomfortable and not an okay topic for the receiver.
Empowerment and education, not just donation
What we try to do is empower the team and get the confidence going. It’s easily one of my favourite parts of the job! We have to speak to a lot of guys through that and it’s my favourite thing to do because it only takes one person to ask a question that seems hard and the second someone asks, everyone else’s hands are up. You look at the situation and realise, nobody has ever given you a safe space to talk about this. Everyone has been holding on to some really important questions.
Being able to interact in the community in that way has been really good because for example if we talk and educate youth leaders - when they pass something out they are the ones with the strong and direct relationship to the community. We don’t have. that. We can talk to these organisations and make a plan that works best for them and their community. Sadly Covid stopped a lot but we’re getting back into it now. It’s definitely a really important aspect to be able to connect with the community in person.
The period is a human life subject
The takeaway from all this is that periods exist and affect us all no matter where we see ourselves in life. Not all humans have the same access to period knowledge and products.
#squashthestigma, #celebratethecycle
Be as bold as you like or go quietly and be mindful of others. Know that you can make small changes in your conversation and always ask questions if anything confuses you. It’s a vital part of the human experience.
If you’d like to know a little more contact The Period Place - they know a lot period or if you’d like to support The Period Place head to their site and donate. For even more discussion on the subject check out The Period Place Podcast on Spotify.